marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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