I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
