oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
