Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
