you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
