i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
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