glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I AM VODKA MAN
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
