I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
