YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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