...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
