haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Shame - the story of my life.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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