yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
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