glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Randomize
