I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
We just shotgunned beers for America
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
