i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize