i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
