We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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