If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
