I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
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Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
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I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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