I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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