DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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