I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
