I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
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