If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
