so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
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