Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
