i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
