I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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