Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
