found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
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