No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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