dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
