you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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