fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
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