i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
