He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
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He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
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You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.