Texts From Last Night

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  (415): View more from California

  This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?

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  (415): This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf? http://tfl.nu/a0bl
  Replies (16) Good night (732) Bad night (3549) Order T-Shirt
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again

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  (610): ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again http://tfl.nu/ywr6
  Replies (11) Good night (4101) Bad night (606) Order T-Shirt
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?

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  (419): Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat? http://tfl.nu/dmug
  Replies (5) Good night (3448) Bad night (869) Order T-Shirt
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  (904): View more from Florida

  he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up

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  (904): he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up http://tfl.nu/1mju
  Replies (19) Good night (8798) Bad night (956) Order T-Shirt
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"

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  (401): You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car" http://tfl.nu/0yb1
  Replies (7) Good night (2365) Bad night (921) Order T-Shirt
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan

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  (404): I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan http://tfl.nu/xldl
  Replies (14) Good night (5224) Bad night (1280) Order T-Shirt
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine

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  (403): You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine http://tfl.nu/d0ou
  Replies (23) Good night (2787) Bad night (1217) Order T-Shirt
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.

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  (919): All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on. http://tfl.nu/8snd
  Replies (15) Good night (5219) Bad night (787) Order T-Shirt
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  (407): View more from Florida

  Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.

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  (407): Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills. http://tfl.nu/wclx
  Replies (9) Good night (1417) Bad night (1951)
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  (818): View more from California

  I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire

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  (818): I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire http://tfl.nu/rfl8
  Replies (6) Good night (5637) Bad night (595) Order T-Shirt
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  Just make sure my intervention has a theme...

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  (256): Just make sure my intervention has a theme... http://tfl.nu/wrxo
  Replies (9) Good night (1492) Bad night (448) Order T-Shirt
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  (512): View more from Texas

  I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.

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  (512): I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good. http://tfl.nu/1b0u
  Replies (2) Good night (830) Bad night (318) Order T-Shirt
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha

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  (775): Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha http://tfl.nu/7v5q
  Replies (9) Good night (1344) Bad night (346) Order T-Shirt
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant

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  (937): I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant http://tfl.nu/spdi
  Replies (10) Good night (1051) Bad night (235)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...

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  (904): And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept... http://tfl.nu/rhyx
  Replies (4) Good night (218) Bad night (64) Order T-Shirt

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