I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
