I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself