I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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