remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
