we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
and i looked up. we had an audience...
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
