how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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