he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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