When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
