No stitches, just platelets and will power
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
