I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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