let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
