i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
