there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
