reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Randomize
