told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
What drink are we having for lunch?
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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