Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Randomize
