I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
