You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
