i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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