I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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