You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
