I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
