You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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