He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
