What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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