Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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