FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Just cropdusted the office
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
