Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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