Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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