I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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