if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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